The company's health children's play equipment manufacturers push: give children a warm family
In our daily lives, our emotional management should not only be in the working environment, but also the family environment. Many parenting books stress the impact of parental relationships on children. No matter how good the material, no matter how good the love and care, than the impact of the relationship between parents.
1. Heat confrontation: Parents have obvious contradictions and conflicts, and the way in which conflict manifests itself is obvious. The two sides do not respect each other and often quarrel and fight fiercely. During the confrontation, some parents used their children as their own tools to vent their children. Some parents try to make their children join their own side and fight with each other. As a result, children become scapegoats for parental conflicts. Children living in such families often produce two types of abnormal behaviors. First, there is a strong attack psychology. Therefore, some people believe that family violence has the characteristics of intergenerational transmission. The second is criminal behavior. Many studies have shown that juvenile delinquency is related to domestic violence. Children who live in this kind of family may have extreme personality, suspiciousness, irritability, grief, timidity, and other characteristics.
2. Cold confrontation: Such a family seems to be calm. Parents do not quarrel, but they are mentally and emotionally antagonistic, rarely talk to each other, and do not want to talk at all. The husband and wife relationship exists in name only. Children who grow up in such a family environment often have psychological depression, which is mainly due to the dreary atmosphere in the family. A foreign scholar has found that members of such families, especially children, are also prone to schizophrenia.
According to several studies, children living in these family environments have a probability of being equal to or even greater than children with divorced families. Because many divorced families are actually very healthy, and only a few have problems. However, when we see the children in question again see divorced or single-parent families, it is only natural to link them together.
The stable and solid relationships of parents help boys grow into men and girls grow into women
Before the age of 3, children, both boys and girls, have a closer relationship with their mothers. But starting around the age of 3, children will instinctively desire to be close to the opposite parents, boys will be more attached to their mothers, and girls will be more attached to their father (although some children do not show it). At this stage, if the parents intentionally or unintentionally respond to this desire of the child, for example, the mother and the son establish a very close relationship, and let the son know that the mother cares more about him than he cares about dad, or the father and daughter are very close, and let the daughter I believe that father loves her better than loves her mother. Then the child may develop the Oedipus complex. He will be too dependent on the opposite sex parents, while lack of respect and alienation of same-sex parents.
To successfully pass the Oedipus period, the key is to have a harmonious and balanced husband and wife relationship. Parents love children, but they also love each other deeply. They do not ignore love for each other because they love children. In this way, the child will gradually understand that even though her mother loves him so much, but father is the mother's best partner, and he is only a child. Thus, he will feel safe to be a child and enjoy the love that his parents give him. At the same time, he tried to move closer to his father and knew that only by becoming like a father could he win more love from his mother. This psychological change is the basic motivation for boys to become men and girls to become women. Do not let parent-child relationships break the relationship between husband and wife. For our culture, this is a challenge because we are used to placing children at the heart of our home. However, from a psychological point of view, this is not a beneficial state for children's growth. In a family of three, fathers, mothers, and children form a triangular relationship. When the three relationships reach equilibrium, the family relationship is stable and the child grows naturally and happily. If we attach too much importance to parent-child relations and neglect husband-and-wife relations, the stability of the triangle will be broken. The famous German psychotherapist Searinger called the child “a savior in the family†because the child naturally has an instinct to protect the family.
Every child is happy to see their parents love each other instead of coming to him to compete for love. If the parents love each other, the child will feel safe to be a happy child instead of thinking of himself as an adult spouse of his father or mother and doing things that are not in line with his age.
Stable husband and wife relationship, helping "independence" and "separation"
Love and separation are two eternal themes in life. Healthy families are full of love and know how to separate. Parents of healthy families who love children and raise them are not to share this result with themselves, not to stick with children forever, but to push him out into the wider world and let him go. Have an independent and independent life.
The family is the carrier that conveys love. It is passed from the parents to the children and then passed down by the children. However, the first person in the family is never a parent-child relationship but a husband-wife relationship. For example, in a “family of three generations†family, if the husband and wife relationship is the core of the family and has the first say, the family will be rock solid. On the contrary, if parent-child relationships (including the elderly and young people, husbands and children, and wives and children) override the relationship between husband and wife, the two most common problems will arise: one is the bad relationship between mother-in-law and the other; the second is the serious love complex. . Children's slide children's play equipment manufacturers from the company's health push.
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