With the widespread use of sleep monitor Fitbits and diet weight loss applications, we are able to track and monitor all health conditions more closely and share the results on social media. As a result, many of us believe that we should work hard towards what we think is the "best" health direction while surpassing others.
But this is a wrong attitude. If you want to achieve your health goals, you should not focus on becoming the best. Instead, focus on becoming better.
I realized this through my running experience. 10 years ago, when I started a long-distance race, what I wanted was to complete a half-marathon. But I soon realized that if I wanted to be a lifetime runner, this specific goal would make me fail. If I finish the game and I don't have any hard work goals, I may stop running completely. If I didn't complete the game, I would feel depressed and more likely to give up.
So I changed my mindset and I just wanted to be a better runner - to be faster, to run longer and to enjoy the process of running. Due to this change of mind, I have completed countless half marathons and marathons. I have not achieved my specific goal; for example, I want to complete the last marathon in three hours. In fact, I always spend five minutes each time. However, I have become a better runner, learning from each game and integrating these experiences into future competitions.
The same logic applies not only to diet and exercise, but also to other goals in our lives, such as parenting, interpersonal relationships, career development, or our creative ambitions. Research shows that the problem of focusing on the final results and big goals is that they are too black and white: either reach the goal or not. If you accomplish the goal, it's too easy to get used to. You may become complacent and you will know that you have fallen behind your competitors. However, if you can't achieve the big goal, then the opposite situation will appear: You may become sad, lose motivation, and in the worst case, you can no longer enthusiasm and withdraw everything you are doing.
Psychologists call this mentality “forced passionâ€â€”a person’s driving force is not because he enjoys doing something, but because of external outcomes, recognition, and rewards. Forcing passions are often associated with anxiety, deception, depression, and burnout.
So when you're working toward a goal, you're better off setting less explicit results - for example, losing 10 pounds - but you should develop healthier eating and exercise habits, and that's better. In this way, you will be indifferent to the failure of success.
Almost everyone I met in my research embodied this concept in my book "Peak Performance: Promoting Competition, Avoiding Burnout, and New Science for Success." Here are a few steps to reflect it:
Choose a specific ability or area that you want to cultivate. For example, maybe you prefer to cook at home. Be specific. Remember, it's hard to take on too many challenges at once.
Evaluate your current position. Be honest when self-evaluating. You can even ask trusted friends or advisors who will give you a real answer.
Ask yourself: What's next? A common pitfall is pursuing too fast - for example, drastically reduce calories, increase physical activity, and sleep for two hours a night, all at the same time. Don't be fooled. In the long run, small advances in the short term will bring about long-term great progress.
Focus on any incremental goals you propose. Once you are done, ask yourself what to do next and then do it. For example, maybe you have insisted on 30 minutes of exercise four times a week. Now you can consider increasing it to five times, or extend the duration to 40 or 45 minutes. Or, if you're a writer, maybe you've maintained a high-quality blog for six months and gained a readership. It is time to try to contribute to a small magazine. This is the kind of spiral-oriented development that you should pursue.
Avoid comparisons with others. Doing so will only lead to insecurity and make you sad or bumpy (or both).
When you make progress on a road with measurable results, follow the 48-hour rule. Give yourself 48 hours to feel happy or sad, but you must continue to work hard later. This work itself has some magical things, putting success and failure in their own places.
Regularly remind yourself that your "goal" is to become better and that in order to become better, this goal is not over. In order to pursue their own progress - not to get some kind of external recognition.
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